Whenever I am setting up my postseason articles, I need to go back to the previous year and use it as a template. For a brief moment, I couldn’t find last year’s version of this column and I actually said to myself, “There’s no way I forgot to do one, right?”
I love these articles. It’s partly because I can be ridiculous with some of the picks and most of my writing. But it’s also because there is no pressure. I don’t expect to get the color of the Gatorade right despite always picking red and insisting that it is the only logical choice! I write it because it’s fun. The content is fun. The writing is fun. The results are fun.
Obviously, the purpose of this website is not just to have fun. It is to be right enough times to slowly and steadily grow a sports portfolio. Still, we are watching entertainment on our televisions in order to determine how we can best benefit from the action. We can drive down from the wide-ranging umbrella of sports to the game of football to the event of the Super Bowl and find that there’s even more to it than just the competition. There are these props, and they are, if nothing else, fun.
With that being said, we lead with our usual disclaimer. The prop bets below are compiled from different websites, and the opinions given is purely satirical. Do not use this as advice, in any way.
This year, I used multiple sources for the Prop Bets. Here they are: My Bookie, SportingNews, Covers, FanDuel SportsBook, and DraftKings Sportsbook.
Coin Toss – Heads or Tails
I’ll start with the easy one because I am a man of loyalty! I believe that “tails never fails” is too much of a catchphrase for me and, instead, I like the ‘contrarian’ angle of “heads.” That’s always my prediction.
Prediction: Heads
How long will the National Anthem run? Over/Under 126.5 Seconds
I finally broke away from relentlessly picking the ‘under’ last year because it felt like everyone was going in that direction. I was right, and it is still one of the great moments of my prop betting career — the bar is set quite low. This time, I am going back to my tried-and-true method — read: I have no clue if it’s actually successful or not — of targeting the ‘under’ because it feels like everyone is pulling for the ‘over.’ I’ll consider last year the exception, and not the rule.
Prediction: Under
What will be the predominant color of Chris Stapleton’s Hat? Black (+350), or Any Other Color (-556)
It’s as simple as one option versus the field, and it’s quite enticing to take the chance with the great odds of him wearing a black hat. Still, if I were trying to get ahead of future losses with a win somewhere, I’d take the extremely short odds with ‘any other color.’ If — ahem, when — he wears black, I’ll be furious, but this is a dice roll where we can only lose with one number appearing.
Prediction: Any Other Color
Which of these two will be shown first? Donna Kelce (-750, Travis and Jason’s mom) or Brittany Mahomes (+424 Patrick’s wife)
Look at these odds! Those are outrageous numbers. Obviously, the easy pick is the mother of the first pair of brothers to ever face each other in the Super Bowl, but, just because she will definitely be shown on television does not mean she will be the first one shown. The odds for Brittany Mahomes to appear on camera first are also my birthday (April 24th) and, if that isn’t a reason to make a pick, then I don’t know what is.
Prediction: Brittany Mahomes
Which of these will be mentioned or shown first during the broadcast? Video of Philly Special (-160), Video or Picture of Rocky Statue (+165), or Video or Picture of Cheesesteak (+240)
For the last two picks, we’ve seen some incredible odds. Here, the numbers have settled down a bit more. I understand why the Philly Special is the favorite, but I don’t agree with it. If Doug Peterson were coaching a team in the Super Bowl, I could justify the broadcast showing the infamous play early. Here, neither the current head coach nor quarterback were involved in the play, so I think it slides down the priority list. I would assume a video or picture of the Rocky Statue as the broadcast cuts to a commercial has a better chance of winning.
Prediction: Video or Picture of Rocky Statue
Will a video of Andy Reid competing in the punt, pass, and kick contest be shown? Yes (-150) or No (+120)
I am actually shocked at how tight these odds are considering that the broadcast has a perfect reason to show this clip. Andy Reid is obviously coaching in the game, but former player Rob Gronkowski will attempt to kick a field goal during the third quarter. Doesn’t that lead to an ideal combination of thoughts where we can see another non-player kicking the ball?
Prediction: Yes
Will Rob Gronkowski make his field goal? Yes or No
What will the specific result of Rob Gronkowski’s field goal attempt be? Field Goal is Good (-120), Short (+200), Wide Left (+350), Wide Right (+350), Hits Left Upright (+800), Hits Right Upright (+800), Hits Crossbar (+1200)
Speaking of Rob Gronkowski and his field goal attempt, we can actually make a pick on what we think happens. I’ll pair two of them together here just because it isn’t worth typing it out twice. I’m sure he has practiced often and can make the kick, but it’s just more fun to root for it to miss. How should it miss? I’m going to say he completely shanks it and it technically falls short.
Predictions: No, short
How many songs will Rihanna perform during the Halftime Show? Over or Under 9.5
I always write about how little interest I have in the Halftime Show other than these fun props, and that hasn’t changed with the fact that Rihanna will be performing. Regardless, I could rattle off more songs by her than most artists, and I have a feeling that we get a large montage of her work on Sunday.
Prediction: Over
What color will Rihanna’s dress be? Black (-200), White (+450), Grey/Silver (+500), Gold/Yellow (+600), Red (+800), Pink (+1200), Green (+1400), or Blue (+1500)
Once again, because of the number of songs she has, there were no other props worth listing here. In addition, there are more than a dozen people listed as potential collaborators with her — where I’d love to see Jay-Z, and the -400 odds indicate it’s likely that he’ll take the stage. Instead, we’ll focus on the color of her dress because…why not? Going with the favorite of a black dress just feels too boring, which basically means I get to lose with…err…pick… a different option. Gold/Yellow feels like an exciting one to root for and clearly this pick is all about fun.
Prediction: Gold/Yellow
What color will the liquid be that gets dumped on the winning coach? Yellow/Green (+115), Orange (+280), Blue (+350), Red/Pink (+650), Clear/Water (+1000), or Purple (+1000)
I always end with this one because I always pick Red. If you’ve followed my articles in the past, then you know why. If not, then I’ll repeat the same thing I write every year: the imagery of the coach being bathed in blood after a battle.
Prediction: Red
And now time for some actual picks. These are mainly being listed because I like the odds, even if the picks, themselves, are either contradictory or unlikely to hit. As always, do your research, be careful, and play responsibly.
There WILL be a two-point conversion attempt in the game (+120) – I’ll start off with the one pick I actually love so much that I had to search for it. Because of how aggressive the Eagles are — and because of how much they embrace this aggressiveness — I find it highly likely that they will attempt a two-point conversion on Sunday. More importantly, I can see the spread sitting at one-and-a-half points as a suggestion that the Eagles might try to win the game at the end with a two-point conversion instead of taking a tie to overtime. Both of those possibilities made this a must-play for me.
What will be more in the game, total points or the longest field goal made? Longest Field Goal Made (+115) – I like this one because it obviously has two layers, but they can work together. I am personally leaning on a slightly-lower score than most — not enough to act on it, but just in a mental expectation — as a result of how many times I have heard that this could be an explosive matchup. If the teams stall, then we should have a few field goal attempts which will give a better opportunity for one of them to be long while also lowering the total score.
Any player WILL have at least 100 rushing yards (+300) – I simply love the odds. Indeed, there are more paths to players thriving through the air than on the ground, but what it surprise anyone if Miles Sanders or Isiah Pacheco took off for a 60-yard scamper and only needed to find 40 more yards throughout the night? I’m not necessarily expecting this one to win, but I can’t ignore the upside of it.
Total interceptions OVER 1.5 (+138) – I always write about how much I love Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes and how I fully expect him to have one of the greatest careers of anyone who has played the game. Still, he can throw an interception against an Eagles defense that had the fifth-most in the league. Add one from Jalen Hurts on the other side of the matchup and we have a winner.
There WILL be a missed field goal in the game (+132) – Part of this pick ties into my expectation that we will have a few more field goal attempts than people think, and that simply raises the opportunity for a miss. Each kicker had one miss from less than 40 yards during the regular season.